Relational Conflict

this post can also be found at www.wreckedfortheordinary.com
I was having a conversation today with some good, old friends. Because when you’re about to turn 40 that’s what you have… good, old friends. Much of the dialogue revolved around the difficulty of relationships between believers, even within the same church. Why are relationships hard? This is not even close to being exhaustive but here are the first four thoughts that come to my mind:

1. Because our identity is wrapped up in what others think. That’s a problem. Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap.”

2. Because we assume that our spiritual experience(s) is the normal and even preferred path to truth, freedom, growth, etc… What I’ve found is that there is incredible diversity among believers regarding how they came to know what it is that they know. It’s one of the reasons I would guess that Paul wrote in Philippians 2:12 – “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Each person must work out their salvation. God works in unique ways with each of us. (It’s worth noting that this scripture gets taken out of context a lot. I can’t amplify here though. Do some research on it and see what you think)

3. Because relationships are so worthwhile and you can’t have the ‘worthwhileness’ without the ‘difficutlness’. (Yes, I like to make up my own words.) It’s like trying to raise children without experiencing any pain. It’s not possible. If you love your children you will experience pain on some level.

4. Because we each have our own set of filters, perspectives, opinions, baggage, dysfunction, sin, learned helplessness, blaming tendencies, bad habits, unrealistic expectations, etc… that make it almost impossible for good relationships to ever happen in the first place!

Regardless of reasons why, one thing I am sure of is that God uses relational conflict to build character in our lives or as Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it, “God builds his temple in the heart on the ruins of churches and religions.” Sometimes there are no resolutions. Sometimes the pain never really goes away. But it’s in these ‘ruins’ that Gods help is most powerful and re-creative.

Looking for God

Looking for God, I’m like the guy in The Matrix staring at the screen trying to make sense of the all the green numbers. I stare and I stare. Seems like I miss Him a lot.

Thomas Merton said, “If you find God easily, maybe you haven’t found God.”

Eyes of Faith

In a reference to Psalm 116:10 the Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4, ""It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus...""

Paul was so convinced of what he saw in his mind and felt in his heart that he was able to speak it even though he was "hard pressed, crushed, persecuted, perplexed and struck down."

He was focusing on the inward not the outward. He was looking at life from the inside out.

Don't give up yet. Fix your eyes on what is unseen - the glory of God working in you - not on the troubles. For the troubles will be gone soon enough and only serve the purpose of achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs anything we can imagine.

Reasons not to Believe

There are reasons to believe… It’s historically verifiable that there was a man named Jesus from Nazareth who lived, reportedly performed miracles, was killed by Pontius Pilate, who had followers who claimed he was resurrected and that there was an empty tomb. In fact these followers were so convinced of his life, death and resurrection that many of them lost their lives in defense of the idea. Since that time hundreds and thousands and eventually millions of people have devoted their live to this Jesus. There are reasons to believe.

There are reasons not to believe... questions, pain, war, child pornography, hate, racism, depression, poverty, the crusades, bigotry and cable preachers to name a few.

I have a friend who had a son praying for a shot in basket ball game. He told his mom he just wanted to know that God exists and answers prayer. So his prayer was something like, “God if you really exist, help me make this shot.”

The shot didn’t go in.

So the mom was asking how should she respond to this… I wanted to tell her to tell him that he just didn’t pray hard enough or that he didn’t use the right words because God wants what is best for her boy and he would absolutely answer the right kind of prayer.

But I know better. God wont be used like a genie.

Something bigger is going on here. All of us deal with this sooner or later. Something profound is happening in this boy’s life. He wants to know God (and He wants to win the basketball game but that’s another story) but mostly he wants to know God.

To know God, you have to struggle.

Every great man or woman I know… Every great biblical character had to struggle in order to know God. They all had to decide for themselves if God really exists, if He was going to answer prayer, if He really cared about them or not.

It’s Thursday of what we now call Holy Week. We find Jesus in the garden praying, “Why?” “Is there another way?” “Father-God, where are you?”

There are reasons to believe… and there are reasons not to believe.

Everyone, incredibly including Jesus, has to decide which one they will give their life to.

The Least of These

Want to buy a slave in Haiti?

Talking

Some of you talk to convince me of something

Some of you talk to convince yourself of something

Some of you talk to control conversation
Some of you talk to keep me distracted
Some of you talk because you don’t know how to live with the silence


Some of you talk in order to get attention
Some of you talk in order to deflect attention

Some of you talk so that I wont

Some of you talk to defend yourself
Some of you talk to advance your agenda

Some of you talk because it’s easier than listening


I hear all of you

I’m not as think as you dumb I am

Greenday

I think my friend, Lori, has an interesting take on the environmental friendliness of the Sabbath.

Under the Orange

Every morning
the world
is created
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped ashes
of the night
turn into leaves again
(The first few lines from “Morning Poem” by Mary Oliver)

Psalm 118. This day is the day God has made… it’s not about yesterday, it’s not about tomorrow… it’s about today. Every morning the world is created and as the sun is setting on one dream it’s rising on another.

Human Trafficking Issue

Unfortunately the Human Trafficking issue is one to be aware of. (wreckedfortheordinary.com - adventure - 'biking' story)

And I think to stay up to date with what Stephanie and others are trying to do check out her blog here at www.stephaniefisk.theworldrace.org.

Unbelievable stuff.

For Every Parent - Why are Toys so Difficult to Open but Break so Easily?

Why are toys so difficult to open but break so easily? This is the burning question I have. What is it? Is there some government mandate involved? Was there some study done? Does it improve sales? When I was a kid you'd simply open the box and GI Joe would come tumbling out. (By the way, 30 years later my boys still play with these same GI Joes. Granted there are a couple of them dismembered but by and large they still work.) Now days the average toy, like a GI Joe, has 47 twisty tie things, a half-dozen screws, double-sided-tape indiscriminately placed on every conceivable semi-movable part and then is vacuum wrapped in some kind of NASA-designed- fire-resistant-plastic-synthetic-mold. It's unbelievable.

These aren't military secrets. They're toys.

But that's just half the issue... once they're opened they break within minutes. I've literally experienced the trauma of spending more time extracting a toy from it's packaging than the amount of time spent by the child playing with the toy before it broke! (i.e. rockets, pens, weapons, punching bags, magic sets, model cars and every walkie-talkie system... ever!) And if you emailed this post to 5 parents my bet is 4.5 out of 5 of them would say the same thing.

I don't need a return to the "good ole' days". I don't spend inordinate amounts of time reminiscing about the way things used to be. But with respect to the toy making industry somebody missed something, somewhere and it was probably all in the name of progress. (Ogden Nash, once wrote, "Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.")

So here's to the days when toys opened easily and lasted. Yes, they had parts that you could easily choke on and yes, they were bulky and heavy, at times had sharp edges and were probably made of something semi-toxic but... they endured and sometimes like in the case of my GI Joes, the original ones are still in tact after more than 30 years.

A Way Out

Sure I am of this; that you only have to endure to conquer. Churchill

I Cor 10:13 assures us that "He will provide a way out." I think our expectations and perspectives are fascinating to study. When we fail to meet our expectations then adversity sets in. For some this adversity is lethal. Psychologists have coined the phrase, “learned helplessness” to explain the feeling of helplessness one feels after lots of failures. If you're someone who just can't seem to measure up, or can't catch a 'break' or keeps falling to temptation then sooner or later you'll probably deal with this learned helplessness idea. That's where your spiritual enemy wants you to be... hopeless.

But there is hope.
And there are options.
And He can provide a way out.

And then you say, "I've already tried. He hasn't come through." Well, then try again. Look, if you’ve only got one bullet then I’d be reluctant to fire it as well. But you don’t. You have lots of them. You just have to keep firing.

I love what Henry Cloud says, "What if your hope is not in one particular option but in the belief that if you keep looking for options one will appear?"