Secondary Gain

Therapists sometimes reference secondary gains when dealing with patients. A secondary gain is an unconscious or hidden motivation for a person to be ill. For example, a boy might become sick but he might get to stay home from school, watch his favorite movie and get loving attention from his mom. (all examples of secondary gains)

A person of doubt might have secondary gains as well. Maybe the secondary gain is being so sure of the absence of God that you write a book that makes a lot of money. Maybe the secondary gain is that you get to make fun of Christians. Maybe it get's you attention.

Or... maybe the secondary gain is that now that you don't believe in Him, God wont interfere with your life. Now you can live however you want, think whatever you want, do everything you want to do without conviction.

Anything is permissible if there is no God. - Dostoevsky

Of course, to be fair, faith has secondary gains as well. What might they be?

Margin of Error

Three-word-phrases that make little sense to me include, "Some Assembly Required", "Selling Like Hotcakes", and of course, "Margin of Error."

www.robertniles.com seems to break down the meaning of "margin of error" for me a little. Unfortunately I'm not a mathematician so I can't seem to grasp the concept for long. Like picking up ice cubes I spilled on the kitchen floor this morning with wet hands, I have to concentrate and go slowly and even then I'm bound to have some slip through my fingers.

The phrase has got me thinking though... What's the margin of error in your life? A four-percent margin of error might mean that 95 times out of a 100 you react to challenges in life within four points of what the right answer is. Hmmm... What if your margin of error is bigger? What if you're further away from the right answer? Furthermore, what if your confidence level is lower?

The complex (I know, some would say simple) mathematical equations we've come up with to determine polling accuracy make me wonder about how complex our equations would have to be regarding questions of eternal significance. Like, how good do you have to be in order to have an authentic relationship with a perfect God? If your responses to situations, tests and issues in life determine your ability to bring heaven on earth and give eternal heaven how often do you need to respond correctly... 25, 65, 95%? You would probably concede that no one responds perfectly 100% of the time so... let's pick a number... 80%. Let's say that in order to be in a right relationship with the Creator one needs to come in at around an 80% correct response rate, what makes up the last 20%?

What makes up the difference?

Better yet, who makes up the difference?

Winners and Losers

More presidential debates tonight. Someone will win. Someone will lose. (Not the debate - the election - because seriously these debates are filled with so much political rhetoric how can you even understand half of whats being said? And have you seen the way some of these networks cover the debate? It's like Football Night in America with 47 commentators. Shut up, already.) Sorry, meanwhile....

Society is always divided between the winners and losers. Take the recent Florida HS football game which ended in a 91-0 score.

What if the only way you win is if you lose?

When is the last time you heard a football coach, or politician... or anyone talking about football or politics frame things in that perspective? You'd be crazy to talk like that. Losing is not fun. Then you’re not in control. No one looks up to you. You’re not in power. You have no authority.

Watchman Nee said, “The question for the universe is, ‘Who will have the authority?'”

What if the only way Christianity prevails is if it’s defeated?

Questions lead to Answers lead to Questions

There are questions that need answers. Fortunately answers can be found. But that only presents another set of problems because I've found the best answers always to lead to more and better and deeper and interestinger questions.

I believe Jesus is The Answer.

But sooner or later He leads me to more questions. So, I keep living in the middle of answers and questions... in that shadow thing that Elliot wrote about in "The Hollow Men"... I live there because honestly, where else would I go? (Isnt that what Peter exclaimed? John 6)

I live there also because not having everything explained seems to make some sense. Mystery isn't the absence of meaning it's the presence of meaning too great to understand.

But then there are the things that do make sense to me and here's one that keeps me hanging around Jesus... He's the only religious leader to talk about sin and claim to be the remedy for sin. Other religions offer enlightenment, habits, karma, reincarnation, rules, the law and other belief systems in order to make up for my deficiency. Jesus is the only one who said to me, "Hey, you have a problem that is way worse than anything you could dream up and it's not going to change by trying harder. It's only going to change by letting me pay the price. And I will. Because I love you more than anything you can imagine." (that's me paraphrasing what Jesus said in the NT) He's the only one in history who ever said anything like that.

Something like that is just crazy enough to believe.

The Will to Believe

Pilot said, “What is truth?” You can almost hear him scoffing or maybe squirming… Jesus just stood there. He didn’t respond with a book, a website, or a campaign slogan.

He stood there.

Pilot was looking for answers, for resolution, for a response. And Jesus stood there in the way of truth and in the way of truth. Think about the two different ways… Depending on how it’s used “in the way” could mean a barrier, something blocking progress or “in the way” could mean in the flow, the right way to go.

Jesus stood there in the way.

Pilot didn’t get it. Maybe he was pressured for time. Maybe he was someone that just couldn’t see it. Maybe he wasn’t used to looking real hard for something. Maybe most everything was handed to him and this time it wasn’t handed to him. What he needed to do was stop, pray, think, listen and accept responsibility for his choice. But he didn’t.

Maybe you don’t get it either and like Pilot you’re frustrated. Listen, I have watched a lot of people struggle with their belief system. I have listened to many offer excuses. I’ve known people who always needed one more answer or some specific response or one more piece of evidence. Maybe you’re one of those people. Sorry to be so blunt but here’s my reaction…

No one walks away from Jesus because they can’t make the mental ascent. Good grief. Who can? No one can understand it.
Some say they can’t believe in Jesus because they need more evidence. Who doesn’t want more evidence? We all do.
I don’t believe people turn their backs on Jesus because they can’t reconcile science and the Bible. Yeah, even believers struggle with how to interpret the Bible sometimes.
People don’t walk away because of the church. Guess what? All of us at one time or another have wanted to walk away because of the church!
It’s not because of Christians although, again, trust me, I’ve been tempted
It’s not because of education, or politics, or race or pain in the world or anything else. You might think so but I don’t buy it.

People walk away from Jesus because they simply refuse to believe.

It’s a matter of the will. That thing deep inside of you that says either, “Yeah I want to believe in Him. I need to have someone else in control of my life.” Or “I could believe in Him but I will not.” You see, there’s a difference between saying, “I can believe in Jesus.” (which means you may or may not) And “I will believe in Jesus.” (which means you will).

So, I’d say stop, pray, think, listen and accept responsibility for your choice and then decide if you will or will not. Don’t blame it on something else.

It always comes down to the will.

"Everybody Thinks" is a useless phrase

The most common useless phrases all start with something like, "everyone thinks..." or "i know a lot of people who say..." or "a bunch of people are..."

In the church, or in the office, or the school, or within the political party, or or any other place you can imagine both physical and virtual these phrases are completely unhelpful and often toxic.

I can almost guarantee you that the person(s) using these phrases is wrong. They haven't taken the time to get a lot of feedback or specific input. They haven't asked important questions. They often don't even care about logic. They're being driven by emotion, responding to their small circle of friends and trying to sound knowledgeable by making absolute statements.

Don't fall for it. Don't lead or manage that way. Help your people move past the fear of what "everyone thinks" and get to the heart of the issue.

Looking for God

Looking for God, I’m like the guy in The Matrix staring at the screen trying to make sense of the all the green numbers. I stare and I stare. Seems like I miss Him a lot.

Thomas Merton said, “If you find God easily, maybe you haven’t found God.”

Reasons not to Believe

There are reasons to believe… It’s historically verifiable that there was a man named Jesus from Nazareth who lived, reportedly performed miracles, was killed by Pontius Pilate, who had followers who claimed he was resurrected and that there was an empty tomb. In fact these followers were so convinced of his life, death and resurrection that many of them lost their lives in defense of the idea. Since that time hundreds and thousands and eventually millions of people have devoted their live to this Jesus. There are reasons to believe.

There are reasons not to believe... questions, pain, war, child pornography, hate, racism, depression, poverty, the crusades, bigotry and cable preachers to name a few.

I have a friend who had a son praying for a shot in basket ball game. He told his mom he just wanted to know that God exists and answers prayer. So his prayer was something like, “God if you really exist, help me make this shot.”

The shot didn’t go in.

So the mom was asking how should she respond to this… I wanted to tell her to tell him that he just didn’t pray hard enough or that he didn’t use the right words because God wants what is best for her boy and he would absolutely answer the right kind of prayer.

But I know better. God wont be used like a genie.

Something bigger is going on here. All of us deal with this sooner or later. Something profound is happening in this boy’s life. He wants to know God (and He wants to win the basketball game but that’s another story) but mostly he wants to know God.

To know God, you have to struggle.

Every great man or woman I know… Every great biblical character had to struggle in order to know God. They all had to decide for themselves if God really exists, if He was going to answer prayer, if He really cared about them or not.

It’s Thursday of what we now call Holy Week. We find Jesus in the garden praying, “Why?” “Is there another way?” “Father-God, where are you?”

There are reasons to believe… and there are reasons not to believe.

Everyone, incredibly including Jesus, has to decide which one they will give their life to.