With my boys on the Continental Divide at 12,000 ft.
Showing posts with label father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label father. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The One Prayer always Answered
The one prayer always answered is the honest prayer.
I.
David found out about honesty after the presumptuous yet covert fling with the Hebrew beauty, Bathsheba. David assumed the event was hidden until the prophet, Nathan, came calling. Forced to be honest, he had to admit his mistake, his issues, his tendencies.
It was a horrible moment for David.
It was the best moment for David.
Through it all he learned how much God desires honesty. (See Psalm 51:6)
II.
My most memorable Halloween costume was Evel Knievel. Memorable because a)Knievel was so ‘huge’ in the 70’s, b)I think it was the only costume we ever actually bought new from the store, c)mostly because I looked so good... full-body white suite with the stars and stripes across the chest, flowing cape, the big collar and to top it off an Evel Knievel mask. I was the coolest. The over all effect was stunning. But as with all costumes, the drawback was the stinkin' mask. It was hot, suffocating and made everything smell like cheap plastic. (hmmm, as opposed to expensive plastic?) On more than one occasion I felt compelled to remove the mask. So to summarize, with the mask on I was incredible but claustrophobic. With it off I was ordinary but able to breathe. To be the coolest or to breathe is always a tough choice for an 11 year old but finally I decided to take the mask off once and for all, give it to my dad and enjoy normal respiration.
III.
Masks are fun as a child. Unfortunately lots of adults I know still wear them. You might be wearing one right now. (Probably not a Knievel mask although if you were that would be awesome! ) Most likely you are wearing another kind of mask, a barrier, something you hide behind.
Unlike the Halloween mask - you would prefer to not take this one off.
Like the Halloween mask - you cant breathe unless you take it off and give it to your Father.
What’s your mask?
Who are you trying to impress,
hide from,
manage,
convince,
deceive,
protect?
Who are you trying to be?
Who are you?
Be honest, discard the mask. I learned what David learned what all spiritually growing people learn what you need to learn...
The one prayer always answered is the honest prayer.
(This idea pretty much comes from Vince Antonucci’s book, “I Became a Christian and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”.)
I.
David found out about honesty after the presumptuous yet covert fling with the Hebrew beauty, Bathsheba. David assumed the event was hidden until the prophet, Nathan, came calling. Forced to be honest, he had to admit his mistake, his issues, his tendencies.
It was a horrible moment for David.
It was the best moment for David.
Through it all he learned how much God desires honesty. (See Psalm 51:6)
II.
My most memorable Halloween costume was Evel Knievel. Memorable because a)Knievel was so ‘huge’ in the 70’s, b)I think it was the only costume we ever actually bought new from the store, c)mostly because I looked so good... full-body white suite with the stars and stripes across the chest, flowing cape, the big collar and to top it off an Evel Knievel mask. I was the coolest. The over all effect was stunning. But as with all costumes, the drawback was the stinkin' mask. It was hot, suffocating and made everything smell like cheap plastic. (hmmm, as opposed to expensive plastic?) On more than one occasion I felt compelled to remove the mask. So to summarize, with the mask on I was incredible but claustrophobic. With it off I was ordinary but able to breathe. To be the coolest or to breathe is always a tough choice for an 11 year old but finally I decided to take the mask off once and for all, give it to my dad and enjoy normal respiration.
III.
Masks are fun as a child. Unfortunately lots of adults I know still wear them. You might be wearing one right now. (Probably not a Knievel mask although if you were that would be awesome! ) Most likely you are wearing another kind of mask, a barrier, something you hide behind.
Unlike the Halloween mask - you would prefer to not take this one off.
Like the Halloween mask - you cant breathe unless you take it off and give it to your Father.
What’s your mask?
Who are you trying to impress,
hide from,
manage,
convince,
deceive,
protect?
Who are you trying to be?
Who are you?
Be honest, discard the mask. I learned what David learned what all spiritually growing people learn what you need to learn...
The one prayer always answered is the honest prayer.
(This idea pretty much comes from Vince Antonucci’s book, “I Became a Christian and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”.)
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Parents and Youth Sports
My wife and I have three children, ages 13, 11 and 7. We’ve had them in all kinds of sports just like many of you reading this post. We’ve coached, driven cross town/state/country, paid, prayed, fretted, worried, yelled from the sidelines, (OK, I yelled once or twice at home as well), brought snacks, bought equipment, lost equipment, bought more equipment, dealt with refs, other coaches, other parents, dealt with clubs and leagues and schedules that don’t come out til last minute, purchased lots of trophies (and hey, what’s up with all the trophies anyhow? When I was a kid you were lucky to get a trophy if you actually won something. Now we give trophies out for showing up to the pizza party.)
Sorry, got side-tracked there for a moment...
The point is we’ve been there just like you. Through the ups and the downs, highs and lows. Let me share some principles that are true regardless of whether your child is good and plays all the time or not. These principles revolve around time, identity, growth, us and again, time.
1, TIME – My children do not need to be pressured to excel at a young age, regardless of what society says. (Jordan Sparks, Am Idol winner at 17, Freddy Adu professional soccer player at 14, Doogie Howser, wait that was just a tv show, but speaking of tv shows how many child actors experience problems? Yeah, I think a lot of them.) Though I want her to do her best, if my girl is not showing a great aptitude for a particular sport it’s OK. She might later as she matures or as she gets more “reps”… then again, she might not... It’s my job to help her discover what she’s good at and many times that takes several years and lots of experimenting.
2, IDENTITY – My identity is not based on my child’s performance. Of course I want him to do well and of course, I feel good when he excels. But it’s not about me. I’m the adult. I’m going find a way to feel good about myself that doesn’t factor in how many goals, home runs or touchdowns my boy made or missed.
3, GROWTH – We grow more in difficult times than in good times. That’s just the way it is. It’s how life works because difficult times present more opportunities. In this case the opportunity to let my boy know that though we live in a performance based society my love for him doesn’t operate that way. A parent should really wrestle with what that last sentence means.
4, US - OK, my first priority is my child. Granted. But, I have to open my eyes. Life is never about my own small little group... it’s never just about you and me… it’s always about “us”. Who is the “us” that I need to be aware of? Well, it might be another child, another family or (big breath) someone on the other team! They’re all a part of the “us”. Not only is looking out for others a better way of living it helps my child as well which again, is my first priority. My priority watches me. Does he see me thanking or arguing with the coach? Does she hear me complaining about the ref or showing respect? Does he watch me berate or congratulate other teams? I know, those hit way too close to home.
5, AND BACK TO TIME – I’m not going to put off my responsibility as a parent onto the coach (or teacher, or youth pastor, etc…). I’ve got to spend time with my child. I’ll never forget one year when a little guy who I really liked came up to me after practice. He stood there for a moment with me watching my boy throw the ball. He looked at me for a minute and said, “Do you and Evan, like, play catch everyday?” I said, “Well not everyday but usually a couple times a week.” Then I said, “Don’t you play catch with your dad?” He said, “No. We don’t have time.”
If life is a bank then time is the currency.
Parenting is your most important and challenging assignment in life. Use sports as a way to be a better parent, to get closer to your child and to be supportive. Hey, if they get great at it in the meantime that’s even better but I’m not sure that should be your goal. OK, I have to go. I got a soccer practice to get to.
possible helpful link - youth sports psychology blog
I might regret saying this but if you know me from the ball field, keep me honest about what I just wrote!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Father of Illegitimate Adversity
I was reading about pain and adversity by Austin C. Bonds recently and I guess I've been thinking about difficult times. Sometimes adversity is just adversity... a byproduct of being clothed in flesh. At other times adversity breaks down on me like the monster-waves I'm so fascinated to watch on the discovery channel. Though we seem to live in more sophisticated and subtle times (I speak here only relatively as our culture careens toward hedonism) the Evil One still fathers all kinds of adversity in our lives. Hold that thought for a moment...
So, I read Probverbs 17:17b(NIV) this morning. Ready? "A brother is born out of adversity." Have you ever found someone in the midst of adversity that became your friend, your advocate, confidant, supporter, champion... or brother? Like me, I know you have. Think about your most difficult times.... I bet you can come up with at least one person who "stepped up" to become someone you could trust. That's because though the Evil One fathers adversity in your life, it's illegitimate adversity. There is someone greater who fathers what I'll call legitimate adversity.
The difference?
One, illegitimate adversity, is meant to tempt you and break you.
The other, legitimate adversity, is meant to test you and refine you.
(And I might add, in many cases, bring you a brother)
So, hang on. Any great authentic relationship will go through some adversity. The relationship you're in with Jesus (or want to be in) will include some as well. But adversity's very presence means that something good can happen.
Check out this excerpt from Robinson Jeffers' poem, "The Bloody Sire" and substitute the word, "adversity" for "violence". Or don't. It's semi-genius either way.
Who would remember Helen's face
Lacking the terrible halo of spears?
Who formed Christ but Herod and Caesar,
The cruel and bloody victories of Caesar?
Violence has been the sire of all the world's values
So, I read Probverbs 17:17b(NIV) this morning. Ready? "A brother is born out of adversity." Have you ever found someone in the midst of adversity that became your friend, your advocate, confidant, supporter, champion... or brother? Like me, I know you have. Think about your most difficult times.... I bet you can come up with at least one person who "stepped up" to become someone you could trust. That's because though the Evil One fathers adversity in your life, it's illegitimate adversity. There is someone greater who fathers what I'll call legitimate adversity.
The difference?
One, illegitimate adversity, is meant to tempt you and break you.
The other, legitimate adversity, is meant to test you and refine you.
(And I might add, in many cases, bring you a brother)
So, hang on. Any great authentic relationship will go through some adversity. The relationship you're in with Jesus (or want to be in) will include some as well. But adversity's very presence means that something good can happen.
Check out this excerpt from Robinson Jeffers' poem, "The Bloody Sire" and substitute the word, "adversity" for "violence". Or don't. It's semi-genius either way.
Who would remember Helen's face
Lacking the terrible halo of spears?
Who formed Christ but Herod and Caesar,
The cruel and bloody victories of Caesar?
Violence has been the sire of all the world's values
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