|I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships recently. Among other things you can read about in previous blogs here’s a thought on ‘standards’ and how they might play into healthy relationships... |
Have Some Standards You Will Not Compromise On
My dad used to preach a sermon about the 5 things he was looking for in a wife to be when he was a young, single man in college. The fifth was the only one that was superficial. Apparently he didn’t want to marry a red head. (By the way - He married one!) When I heard him preach about some of his standards he had in looking for a wife, it impressed upon me the importance of knowing who it was I was looking for and who I wasn’t looking for. Look at Psalm 101. What are some of the behaviors that David said he would have nothing to do with? What kinds of things would you add to that list? What about Proverbs 6:16-19? What are some things there that God says he hates? Do you hate those same kinds of things?
Another thought along this line… Certainly a non negotiable standard should be to pursue sexual purity. I know that sounds a bit dated in our culture. But here are just a few things to consider…
· Sex can get in the way of the true reason why the person you are dating is with you. Maybe the only reason the person is dating you is just for sex! And if that’s the case if you stick in the relationship you are setting yourself up for heartache.
· Sex can get in the way of finding out who this person would be if they had to delay gratification. A healthy relationship is not built on immediate gratification. (By the way - this is one of the major issues of pornography. It’s simply immediate gratification. It’s being gratified physically without getting to know someone, without working through relationship issues, without ‘strings’ attached. But unfortunately there are ‘strings’ attached. Serious ones. An individual who has conditioned themselves to be fulfilled through pornography is someone with an in creased tendency to control or put others first and a decreased ability to be self-controlled and mature. [Check out Galatians 5:23, self-control])
· Sex can get in the way of physical health. Those who choose to have sex outside of marriage dramatically increase their chances of getting an STD.
Take some time to determine what is nonnegotiable in your relationships. If your standards are low then like water running to the lowest point, mistreatment and/or problems will find you.