Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Relationships/Dating III

In healthy relationships/dating I previously mentioned the importance of 1)Pursuing emotional health, 2)Getting Relationship needs met outside of dating and 3)Taking responsibility for your tendencies. Here are a couple more...

Conflict is not all bad
There are two general types of conflict: Moral and Immoral.

Immoral = Deceit, lies, ½ truths, manipulations, Self-centeredness, Pride, Superiority, Anger, Envy, Coveting, Resentment, Bitterness, etc…

Moral = Misunderstanding, Miscommunication, Lack of communication
Lack of experience, False assumption, Jumping to conclusions, Lack of info, Different moral goals, Different expectations, Immaturity, etc…

The question is, what kind of conflict are you experiencing? Welcome conflict that is moral or ‘good’. This kind of conflict presents an opportunity to grow, learn and be a better person. But be very cautious to continue with one you are experiencing immoral or ‘bad’ conflict with.

Be authentic
Be who you are at the very beginning of a new relationship. Communicate. Express from the first date. You don’t need to be overly ‘nice’ about how or what you feel. Dr's Henry Cloud and John Townsend in God Will Make a Way remind us, “If you are not yourself, the person you are with may begin to like someone they think is you..." also... "If they have a tendency to be controlling, if they know right upfront that you have opinions they might realize that 'controlling' you will not work." Of course you don’t want to come on too strong either but the point is – don’t fear what the other person thinks about you. Check out Proverbs 29:25(NLT) - Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but to trust the LORD means safety.

Be Healthy!


No comments: