Thursday, July 05, 2007

17 Years

My wife and I spent last weekend celebrating our 17th. It's truly amazing how fast time seems to go by. One thing that has worked for us is that she always makes the small decisions and I make the big ones.

So far there haven't been any big ones.

I've always thought that marriage was a bit like being in the lab where God, as the scientist (not a mad one but a good one) starts pouring elements, like the man and wife, into the beaker and then adding all kinds of other ingredients while cranking up the bunsen burner (i.e. stress, tension, good things, bad things, etc...). After a while stuff starts coming out the top... smoke, foam, unwanted compounds... During this whole process at times it feels like a part of you is being dissolved away. And actually there is some truth to that. In a good marriage (or any healthy relationship really) a part of you does have to dissolve away. It's not particularly fun. It's not really what you had planned initially. It's just way these things work. But the stuff that gets boiled away, that you have to let go of is the stuff that wasn't any good anyhow. And then after some time and prayer you begin to realize that the new element that is made is better than anything individually you had to offer. It's the joy and the pain of being in marriage... of being in the lab together. I'm sure you can draw the connection between this thought and our relationship with God so I won't belabor the point. So, here's to marriage. Crank up the bunsen burners!


Please note that what I've referred to here is not a call for anyone to completely, 100% lose themselves into another. That can be unhealthy. I'm not convinced that anyone should should give total control to another human. I'd say give total control to God but even then you've still got some choices to make and a life to live. ("I've been crucified in Christ but nevertheless I still live")

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