Living Carelessly

The Hebrew word for trust can at times be translated as careless. (It can also be translated a few other words but I find this one particularly interesting.) Trust being synonymous with careless. Hmmm... in other words, when you are in a trusted relationship you don’t have to worry about how to take care of yourself because your friend is worried about it.

The older I get the more I realize how difficult it is to find a friend you can be careless with. Proverbs tells us to be cautious in friendship. I didn't get that so much a decade or two ago. When it was time for a friendship to dissolve or part ways it was more difficult for me. I've always said that friendships are formed for a reason, a season or life. But it's taken me a while to learn it first hand, embrace it and be prepared. Oh, and that's usually what it takes... a while... and then you learn to metabolize the friendship in a healthy way. Be energized with the good. Eliminate the bad. Ultimately keeping your eyes on Jesus, a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Broken Relationships

I had a friend ask me about a relationship that didn't work out. They wanted to know why and if God was punishing them. Here's the essence of my reply. If you know someone that could benefit from this email it on...

a) The most simple explanation is it's possible God is sparing you from a relationship that is not in your best interest. For that you should be thankful.

b) A more complicated explanation is it's possible that this relationship just didn't "work out" because God allows us all to make choices, have personalities and make decisions that influence how our lives are lived. That's a great freedom and a great responsibility. Sometimes because of those decisions relationships just don't materialize like we had hoped.

c) Whatever the reason the relationship failed, your job now is to not live in the past or to be a victim. Learn and move on. Be stronger for it.

d) Finally I would say that I know for sure God is not punishing you. That's not how He operates. Yes, life is painful sometimes but there is a difference between the pain from a surgery and a pain from a mugging. Both have guys with knives and masks asking your for money.

One is meant for your harm.

The other is meant for your good.

Will You be Exposed?

Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

...it exposes my innermost thoughts and desires...

That's either incredibly freeing or incredibly scary. I guess the choice is mine.

At Peanuts.com Linus says to Charlie Brown, “You want to know what the problem with you is Charlie Brown?” Charlie replies, “No.”
Linus just stares at him for a minute, then says, “The problem with you Charlie Brown is that you don’t want to know what the problem with you is.”

Relational Conflict

this post can also be found at www.wreckedfortheordinary.com
I was having a conversation today with some good, old friends. Because when you’re about to turn 40 that’s what you have… good, old friends. Much of the dialogue revolved around the difficulty of relationships between believers, even within the same church. Why are relationships hard? This is not even close to being exhaustive but here are the first four thoughts that come to my mind:

1. Because our identity is wrapped up in what others think. That’s a problem. Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap.”

2. Because we assume that our spiritual experience(s) is the normal and even preferred path to truth, freedom, growth, etc… What I’ve found is that there is incredible diversity among believers regarding how they came to know what it is that they know. It’s one of the reasons I would guess that Paul wrote in Philippians 2:12 – “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Each person must work out their salvation. God works in unique ways with each of us. (It’s worth noting that this scripture gets taken out of context a lot. I can’t amplify here though. Do some research on it and see what you think)

3. Because relationships are so worthwhile and you can’t have the ‘worthwhileness’ without the ‘difficutlness’. (Yes, I like to make up my own words.) It’s like trying to raise children without experiencing any pain. It’s not possible. If you love your children you will experience pain on some level.

4. Because we each have our own set of filters, perspectives, opinions, baggage, dysfunction, sin, learned helplessness, blaming tendencies, bad habits, unrealistic expectations, etc… that make it almost impossible for good relationships to ever happen in the first place!

Regardless of reasons why, one thing I am sure of is that God uses relational conflict to build character in our lives or as Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it, “God builds his temple in the heart on the ruins of churches and religions.” Sometimes there are no resolutions. Sometimes the pain never really goes away. But it’s in these ‘ruins’ that Gods help is most powerful and re-creative.

A Prayer for Kenya

This is a letter that was sent to my friends, Pam and Nelson, who forwarded on to me. I thought that whatever else I would write today couldn't be more important than this. I don't know Bill and Felicia personally but I will pray for them.

Mayhem continues in Kenya

Although the killing, rioting and mayhem in Kenya has ceased to be the top headline story on CNN, FOX and the MSNBC news, there is still much upheaval. We need your prayers!!!

Saturday, 30 people were murdered up in Nakuru during continued rioting over the latest election results. And yesterday (Sunday) another 15 people were killed and thousands were displaced in a violent protest in Navasha. Navasha is fairly close to our home in Karen. Last night at about 9 pm our friend and house helper called us to rescue her from her home just 10 minutes from our home. Gangs of angry protesters were in her area looking to kill people of her tribe (Luo). She was escorted to the nearest police station were she stayed the night sleeping on the floor with her two small children. This morning I (Bill) went to pick her and her children up and went back to their 8ft. x 8ft. home to get some of her things. They are now staying with us for several nights in hopes that things will cool down soon.

For the most part, it is peaceful around our home in Karen. Life seems almost normal. We do not travel far from our home because it is still not safe. Everywhere I go I can feel the tension and fear in the air. Most people do not know who to trust. It is always tense when passing a group of young men on the side of the road. Tomorrow I have to travel to downtown Nairobi to take care of some important business. There has been a lot of violence in and near the downtown area. Please pray for my safety.

Please pray for safety and peace.

Pray that the violence will cease soon.

Pray for all the families of those that have lost their lives during the violence.

Pray for all the thousands, up to 300,000 people displaced and living in fields and makeshift shelters.

Pray for our church and the other churches to step up and help where needed.

Thank you,

Bill & Felicia